Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Am I the only one?

There is a saying which goes "you are unique just like everybody". I don't know how far it is true with everybody. But i believe that it atleast holds true for me. I sometimes feel that I am the only one who believes that "I" am the center of the universe. Not that others don't mean anything. I feel that my universe comprises of just me. When I won't be here, the world would still continue to exist but if I won't be there to witness it, it's as good as the world does not exist for me. Others are not a part of this "universe", they are just influencers. It might sound selfish, but I couldn't put it in pleasant words.

Am I the only one who believes that "rat race" is the most derogatory term? I get infuriated whenever I hear the word. I'd rather be called a mediocre than being c alled a member of a rat race. It's prepostrous that on one hand we say that human life is divine, god's gift etc. and on the other hand, we make such detrimental comparisons. I wouldn't mind being reborn as a rat but I would hate it if anybody called my life a human race then.

Am I the only one who believes memories are a pointless indulgence? I would like to make it clear that i do not despise memories. I like meeting old friends and reliving the days, incidents and anecdotes from the past. But i feel it's useless to indulge in memories. To be stuck to the rewind button in life. That, according to me is a sign of stagnation and is the root for what one refers to as loneliness; I firmly believe in solitary bliss as an advantageous alternative when I don't have the luxury of a social surrounding.

Am I the only one who daydreams of being interviewed on TV for watever reason? Am I the only one who sets on solitary tours? I could go on and on... But I would just like to end with one main question.
Am i the only one who comes up with such a meaningless blog?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Sleep tripping

I was sleep deprived for over 36 hours when i got onto a train from Jolarpettai junction. I was returning to Chennai from Yelagiri. I had gone there for a solitary trip amidst the mountains. So after a full day of trekking and roaming around, I was tired and craving to hit the bed

The train came one hour late and people started rushing in as it reached the platform. I had a ticket for a general compartment. It was full and crowded. Which meant I had to stand for three hours. The very thought of standing up for so long and that too in such a rush for such a long duration was a big turn off. The fatigue and deprivation of sleep added to the discomort. Eventually, one of the co-passengers sat on the floor. I was too tired to stand so i followed.

Now i'm sitting on a newspaper sheet inside the train, besides the door. I start feeling drowsy. Sleep was starting to take its toll over me. I made it a point not to give in because a mere 3 hours would not suffice. I knew I would end up with a headache, had i given in to insufficient sleep. I wanted to remain awake so that i could have all the sleep at a stretch after reaching home.

Gradually, I started to feel my eyes getting heavy. It was similar to sitting in a boring lecture. I would widen my eyes occasionally, a tried and tested method of driving away sleep, atleast temporarily. Eventually, I found myself on the border of sleep and conscience. I'm not sure if i crossed the border but i was sure i didn't for more than a few seconds; an experience i had come close to many times but this was a first time and unique.

The experience was intoxicating. I had started to dream with my eyes open. People who were talking around seemed to be talking famous dialogues. A person on my left was talking to a person on my right. There were a lot of questions and answers passing between the two. I suddenly turned to the person on my left. He was quiet and by his body language i knew he had been for a long time. This was only getting worse. I was hallucinating. It was as though i was on an intoxicant, a drug.

Now the borderline of my conscience was moving further. I knew a strong nerve impulse could only do the trick. My tired mind could not gather the strenth for now. Rather I did not want to move out of my comfort zone. I could feel myself getting irate and restless. I wish I could explain some more of my experiences more clearly. Unfortunatley I don't remember much.

The fact that baffled me the most was that when the body requires more rest, how could the mind get all the more restless. Shouldn't it be pacified? What happens when we sleep? Does bloodflow to the head reduce? A million questions come to my mind. If any of you know, please let me know. Now you may ask why i posted this on my blog? Just a strange experience. Thought I'd let you know.