Sunday, August 3, 2014

Time - a western propaganda

No, the title has nothing to do with any publication by the same name. I'm talking about time, a phenomenon so complex that even Albert Einstein could only define it as 'Time is that which clocks measure'. That might sound like a simple explanation in the west, but in India, things are a bit more complicated. Not because we don't have clocks here, but because we choose to not give a damn about them.

Which leads me to my theory on Time. My theory is that time as a concept is a result of blatant Macaulayism. I don't know what that means, but I guess it makes me sound intellectual. My point put in simpler words is, Time was imposed on us poor Indians by our cruel colonisers. Indians culturally, socially or genetically were never designed to follow time.

Legend has it that Indians never played games that had timelines. Yes, we invented chess and later on embraced cricket. And deadlines were never heard of. We were so used to taking our own time that the under construction Qutb minar saw four coronations, four hundred thousand labourers and four thousand government files moving around aimlessly .

But come the evil colonisers, they chose to conveniently ignore such monuments of patience and brought to light our sundials through which they tried to convince us that time was a part of our culture. Just like they conveniently made us embrace Victorian culture as our own. It is a well guarded secret though, that what they successfully passed off as sundials were actually playgrounds.

So strong has been the impact of the concept of Time, that the television rendition of India's greatest epic, Mahabharata starts with a mention of Time.We never realised how they subliminally introduced the concept of time in India. Just like they introduced sex, greed, ambition and anything that is said to affect anybody's religious sentiments, which to begin with is extremely fragile.

But at the end of the day, our culture is the most important thing to us. And it gives me great pleasure to see many of us not budged by such evil Zionist/western propaganda. My eyes get moist with pride when I see people who keep others waiting eternally, those not making way for ambulance and making sure they don't fall for such evil concepts like time. And no years of colonisation and modernisation has been able to make us reach anywhere on time.

The evil west may have introduced 24 hours in a day with clocks that measure sixty minutes in an hour. But still the best they could manage to do for us is bring down the shortest measurable duration to 15 minutes. A concept better known as 'Bus do minute'.

In conclusion, I would say that our conscience might make us fight the evil propaganda, but we need to focus on it in a bigger way. Instead of wasting time on petty issues like Indianising education and making Hindi compulsory everywhere, I think it's high time we should focus on something more important. Time has come for us to ban this concept of time that has enslaved us and continues to do so every day. And we need to ban it as soon as possible. I have a deadline for next Wednesday.